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The Top Five Rules of Wedding Planning Etiquette

Planning a wedding is a very special time for you and your fiance. This is the biggest day of your life as a couple, and you both want your day to be as perfect as possible.

Nothing quite says perfection like planning the day down to the very last detail. And who are we kidding? It’s usually the bride making the phone calls, sampling the food, picking out the floral arrangements and so on. Between the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding, the modern-day bride may forget from time to time there’s a real person on the other end of that phone or computer, and that person simply has your best interests at heart.

Brides, here is a list of the top five rules of wedding planning etiquette every vendor wishes you would remember.

  1. Don’t browbeat your vendors.

There’s a downright awful rumor floating around the wedding business that brides, grooms, wedding planners and whoever else is associated with your special day can get more out of a business if they browbeat the vendor. Brides, this is just unladylike behavior and not the reputation you want to create for yourself with your vendor, who you could be working with for a year or more. All of these people who answer your multitude of calls and emails really do want you to have an exceptional wedding day, otherwise they would not put so much time and quality work into it for you.

With that said, vendors try their hardest to make you happy within reason. If you ask for hours of their attention, free tastings and other forms of special treatment, you can, hopefully, understand how that’s not fair to them. You wouldn’t call Macy’s and ask them to open for you when they’re closed because you’re free at that time, so don’t do it to your venue either. This is your special day, and you are supposed to be happy, but you still need to treat a business like a business during the process.

2. Read your contracts.

You are no doubt being bombarded with information throughout this entire process and, while some information may be in tiny print, that doesn’t mean it’s any less important. As a rule of thumb before contacting anyone about your wedding, please read your contract with this business first if you have one with them. Nine times out of 10, the answer to your question is in the contract.

Photo Credit: Kristine Pringle.

3. Follow your contracts.

Brides, contracts are made for a reason, and it’s not because someone at that business gets a thrill out of Microsoft Word. Contracts ensure the business can properly plan for your wedding and anticipate your needs. Contracts also ensure the business is protected, and that you, the client, are also protected.

For instance, if the venue states in the contract they will provide 200 white folding chairs and you show up the day of your ceremony only to find 150, you have every right to ask for the other 50 chairs you need, and you have your contract to back you up. The same goes for the venue. If the venue says you have the facility from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. the day of your wedding, please do not ask for access to the venue at 7 a.m. that morning. Both you and the business operator signed the contract, and you are both obligated to uphold your ends of it.

4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

This fourth rule, honestly, cannot be said enough. Weddings are often planned a year or more in advance, and we all know a lot can change in a year. Just like you want guests to RSVP in a timely fashion, vendors also appreciate a heads up on changes in a timely fashion. If you know you’re going to need 200 chairs instead of 150, let your venue know as soon as you know. It’s just a basic rule of life that people can accomodate your needs better if they have more time to prepare for them. Odds are that vendors will happily work with your changes if they have plenty of time to do so.

5. Please don’t stress.

Vendors know this is the biggest day of your life. Vendors know you want everything to be perfect. Lastly, vendors especially know this is a stressful time. Not only are you planning for your wedding day, but you’re also preparing for a huge change in your life. Everyone you’re working with knows it gets more and more stressful the closer you get to your big day, but please don’t panic. Everything is going to be fine and picture-perfect. Your vendors know so because they’ve worked hard to make it perfect for you.

Photo Credit: Kristine Pringle.

Katherine Hensley

Katherine brings a journalistic background to Hermitage Hill Farms to assist the team and help our operations run smoothly. With degrees in both journalism and agriculture, Katherine contributes as a blogger and is most passionate about the plant science and agritourism.

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